PAPER X-NAUT: THE HIDDEN LEGEND

By Pikmanipulator

[This story focuses on a certain X-NAUT, a lowly member of the X-NAUT organization.  Due to amnesia, this X-NAUT does not understand everything about the organization he is in.  This has made him the oddball in the army of X-NAUTS.  However, the X-NAUT seems to have incredible potential inside of him, something that may be associated with his forgotten past.  Only SIR GRODUS, the leader of the X-NAUTS, has seen this potential, and he has big plans for the simple foot soldier.]

*Prelude*******************************************************************************************************************

(X-NAUT and his YUX, YUXETTE, are in the lobby.  X-NAUT is tossing discs across the room and YUXETTE is firing laser rings at them.)

X-NAUT:  OK, Yuxette, now try to shoot this one!

YUXETTE:  Yux!

(X-NAUT throws the disc into the air.  As it flies across the room, YUXETTE fires a laser ring at it.  The ring hits its target, and the saucer shatters into pieces.)

X-NAUT:  Wow, nice shot, Yuxette!  You’re really good!

YUXETTE:  (bounces)  Yux!  Yux!

(Then the CHIEF enters the room.)

CHIEF:  Hey!  What are you two goofing off for?

X-NAUT:  What?  Chief?  Why are you here?

CHIEF:  I came here to tell you that Sir Grodus wants to see you.

X-NAUT:  Really?  Sir Grodus wants to see…me?  Why?

CHIEF:  I was wondering that myself.  Now get to it!

X-NAUT:  OK, then.  (turns to YUXETTE)  Wait here for me, OK, Yuxette?

YUXETTE:  Yux.

(X-NAUT walks out the door of the lobby.  He walks down the hallway and talks to a few other X-NAUTS.  One tells him which floor SIR GRODUS’S room is on.  Others talk about what happened at Rogueport the other day.  X-NAUT reaches GRODUS’S room on the 2^nd sublevel.  When he enters, he sees GRODUS on his throne and another X-NAUT standing nearby.  It turns out to be none other than X-NAUT WHITE.)

X-NAUT:  Umm……  Sir Grodus?  Did you call for me?

GRODUS:  Ah, yes.  You.  Now, you are the same X-Naut who defeated those Smorgs yesterday, correct?

X-NAUT:  Umm…yes…?

GRODUS:  I see.  Now, young X-Naut, I can tell that you have great promise inside of you.  So I’ve decided to give you a special mission.

X-NAUT:  ?

GRODUS:  Yes, indeed I have.  Now, you do know of the Crystal Star we have been researching in Hooktail Castle, do you not?

X-NAUT:  …No, not really…  Wait, a Crystal Star…?

GRODUS:  Of course you know of it.  Your special mission is…I want you to go to the Petal Meadows near the castle and find out as much of this Crystal Star as you possibly can.

X-NAUT:  Well, umm…OK, I guess.  Do I have to get the Crystal Star?

GRODUS:  No.  You merely have to obtain information about it.  But if you do find a way to infiltrate the castle and claim the Crystal Star, then inform me immediately.  X-Naut White, you may give him his supplies now.

(X-NAUT WHITE walks toward X-NAUT and hands him a map, along with a device created with X-NAUT technology, known as the Mailbox DS.  This not only allows X-NAUT to send and receive wireless e-mail, but it also allows him to communicate with someone face-to-face via the top screen, but only if that someone has another Mailbox DS.)

GRODUS:  Use that Mailbox DS to communicate with me.  My computer will produce a projection of you, so make sure you use the visual chat feature.  Oh, and I’m sure you’ve already met, but this is X-Naut White.  He will act as a messenger for you on missions such as this, so you may receive e-mail or various other assortments from him.  Understand?

X-NAUT:  Yes, Sir Grodus.

GRODUS:  Then you may go!  Your mission starts now!

(X-NAUT turns and walks toward the door, but stops and turns around.)

X-NAUT:  Ummm…  Two questions, Sir Grodus.

GRODUS:  Yes, what is it?

X-NAUT:  First one:  Where’s Petal Meadows?

GRODUS:  What?!?  You don’t know?  Sigh…  I suppose it would be fine if X-Naut White was to escort you there, correct, X-Naut White?

X-NAUT WHITE:  Yes, Sir Grodus.  I will escort him.

X-NAUT:  …OK, and the second one:  Can I take Yuxette with me?

GRODUS:  What?  Yuxette?  Who?  Oh, that Yux who hangs out with you…  Fine, whatever.

X-NAUT:  Thank you, sir.

(The two X-NAUTS salute in the cross-armed position, turn around, and head out the door.  They reappear in the lobby, where the CHIEF and YUXETTE are waiting.)

CHIEF:  So?  What happened?

(X-NAUT walks over to YUXETTE and turns to the CHIEF.)

X-NAUT:  Nothing much…  Sir Grodus just gave me my own mission.

CHIEF:  (jumps)  What?!?  He did?!?  Now why would Sir Grodus do something like that?

X-NAUT:  I don’t know.  (turns to YUXETTE)  C’mon, Yuxette.  We’re going to Petal Meadows!

YUXETTE:  Yux!

(X-NAUT and YUXETTE start walking towards X-NAUT WHITE, but then the CHIEF speaks again.)

CHIEF:  Ahem!  Wait just a moment, you!

(X-NAUT and YUXETTE turn around to face the CHIEF.  The CHIEF walks up to X-NAUT.)

CHIEF:  Umm…  Before you go, I should give this to you.

(The CHIEF hands the Power Slam badge to X-NAUT, which allows X-NAUT to use the Power Slam move, which costs 2 FP but slams an enemy with lots of attack power.)

CHIEF:  This is what’s called a badge.  If you wear a lot of them, you can do better in battle.  So, do you need to learn how to equip and remove badges?

X-NAUT:  Yes.

(The CHIEF tells X-NAUT how to use badges, starting with the menu screen and working all the way down to BP—Badge Points.)

X-NAUT:  Hmm…  I see.  But why are you giving this to me, Chief?

CHIEF:  Because you’ll probably need it!  And also, I’m on probation, so I need to make a good impression.

X-NAUT:  Oh…

X-NAUT WHITE:  Ahem!  Pardon the interruption, but X-Naut, you have a mission to get to.  So please, follow me.

(X-NAUT and YUXETTE follow X-NAUT WHITE out the door, heading for their first real adventure.)

CHAPTER 1

AN INVESTIGATOR’S TALE

*Part 1:  Petal Meadows*******************************************************************************************************

(The chapter begins in Petal Meadows.  X-NAUT, YUXETTE, and X-NAUT WHITE emerge from the pipe that leads to Rogueport Sewers.  They all look around at the scenery.)

X-NAUT:  So this is Petal Meadows…  It’s so pretty…and peaceful…and nice-smelling…unlike the X-Naut Fortress.

YUXETTE:  Yux…

X-NAUT WHITE:  Yeah…  Ahem!  But let’s not get sidetracked!  You must investigate Petal Meadows and see if you can find out anything about the Crystal Star.  And remember, as soon as you learn anything, contact Sir Grodus via your Mailbox DS.

(X-NAUT and YUXETTE head off down the trail.  Soon, they come to a bunch of stones.  A couple of them have key-shaped holes in them.)

X-NAUT & YUXETTE:  !

(Off in the distance, they spot Hooktail Castle.)

X-NAUT:  Look, Yuxette!  That castle…  It must be Hooktail Castle!

YUXETTE:  Yux!  Yux!

X-NAUT:  Yes…  But how do we get over there?  I don’t see any way across.

YUXETTE:  Yux!

X-NAUT:  (turns to YUXETTE)  Really?  (turns to the stones)  You think these stones might have something to do with it?  Um, OK, but I don’t think we can do anything with them right now.  Let’s just search more around Petal Meadows and see what we can find out.

YUXETTE:  Yux!

(They continue following the path beyond the stones.  Along the way they battle GOOMBAS, SPIKY GOOMBAS, and PARAGOOMBAS.  The enemies are pretty weak, so X-NAUT and YUXETTE triumph with ease.  They come to the river, where X-NAUT goes through a pipe and activates a switch that builds a bridge.  They cross, and they find themselves in the town of Petalburg.  A KOOPA walks up to them and greets them.)

KOOPA:  Welcome, travelers!  Welcome to Petalburg!  We sure have been getting more of you lately…  Ever since that dragon Hooktail was spotted here, we’ve had almost no visitors…  But now, people seem to be coming through more rapidly.  I’m telling you, folks, Hooktail is no attraction!  Even though that should be obvious…

X-NAUT:  So Hooktail’s a dragon?  Cool…  And Hooktail Castle sounds like the perfect place for it to coop up.  So, umm, Mr. Koopa…do you know anything about a Crystal Star?

KOOPA:  Crystal Star, you say?  Funny you should mention that.  A mustachioed man and a Goomba girl came through here earlier asking about the same thing.

X-NAUT & YUXETTE:  ?

KOOPA:  And I’ll tell you the same thing I told them:  I don’t know about any Crystal Star, but I bet the mayor does.  He’s really old, so he knows all kinds of things we don’t.  Koopas of his age are…really smart.  He lives in the pink house just up ahead.

X-NAUT:  A pink house?  Weird…but it shouldn’t be too hard to find.  So…thanks for your help!

(X-NAUT and YUXETTE travel around town, take a rest at the inn, and go shopping, but X-NAUT only starts out with 10 coins and earns more by defeating enemies, so he doesn’t buy much.  Also, X-NAUT and YUXETTE find a KOOPA PARATROOPA wearing an orange shell, orange shoes, and some electric-blue glasses)

PARATROOPA:  Yo, what’s up?  Say, you dudes are mighty strange-looking, at least for this town.  You must not be from around here, right?  Didn’t think so.

(X-NAUT and YUXETTE eventually find the mayor’s house and go inside.  They meet the mayor, KROOP and try to talk to him.)

KROOP:  Eh?  Who’s there?  Is someone there?  Ah!  I know!  You’re thieves, eh?  Come to rob an old, defenseless Koopa, have you?  Despicable!

(X-NAUT jumps back in surprise and shakes his head.)

KROOP:  Well, away with you!  I haven’t anything to steal, except for a little money and my antique shell…  Take them, you fiends!  But just leave the photos of me and the missus.  Can’t do without those memories.

X-NAUT:  H-hey!  We’re not thieves!  Honestly!  We just wanted to ask you about a Crystal Star!

KROOP:  What’s that?  Not thieves, you say?  Searching for the Crystal Stars, are you?  Well, why didn’t you pipe up before, you ijit!  We’re just wasting time here!  Now let’s see here, the Crystal Stars…  Oh, of course!  Hooktail!  Hooktail’s got what you want!

X-NAUT:  Hooktail?  Ummm…  We kind of already figured that…

KROOP:  You did?  Then why did you bother coming here in the first place?  I don’t have anything more to tell you than that.  Oh, by the way, what’s your name, sonny?

X-NAUT:  Uh…  X-Naut.

KROOP:  X-hm?  What did you say your name was?  Speak up!

X-NAUT:  It’s X-Naut.

KROOP:  X-Nut?  Now that’s a funny name, there.  Well, X-Nut…you asking me about the Crystal Stars reminded me that a man came here earlier today and asked about ‘em, too.  Now what was his name again?  Murphy?  Well anyways, I can tell you that he had a big mustache, and he was wearing a red hat and blue overalls.  You know him, X-Nut?

X-NAUT:  …No, I don’t think so…

KROOP:  You do know him?  Well, no wonder then!  You must be a friend of his.  Well, your friend, Murphy, has already gone to Hooktail Castle to get rid of that beast Hooktail and claim the Crystal Star.  A reckless fool—I mean, a brave adventurer he is!

X-NAUT:  …

KROOP:  So, hey, if you’re a friend of his, does this mean you’re going to help him rough it up with Hooktail?  Mind you, he could probably use all the help he can get.

X-NAUT:  Well, I don’t really suppose…  I mean, he’s not really my friend…

KROOP:  This is great news indeed!  Why, if you were to help Murphy get rid of Hooktail, we’d shower you with rewards and gratitude!  What’s that?  You’ll accept no reward, you say?

X-NAUT:  Ack, uh, well, um, I, whuh?

KROOP:  What an unselfish person you are, X-Nut!  You’re noble, indeed…  Yep, a good egg.  Well, to get to Hooktail Castle, you must have the stone keys.  The stone keys lie in Shhwonk Fortress, just a ways east of this village.  So, what are you waiting for, X-Nut?  Hurry and get those keys so you can catch up to Murphy!

X-NAUT:  Umm…yeah, uh, we’ll do that.

*Part 2:  Mystery Trail********************************************************************************************************

(X-NAUT and YUXETTE leave the house and look at each other.)

X-NAUT:  OK, that was weird.  So, just who is this Murphy guy?  He sounds like he’s after the Crystal Stars, but he doesn’t sound like an X-Naut.

YUXETTE:  Yux…

VOICE:  Hey, did somebody say Crystal Stars?  I know about those!

X-NAUT & YUXETTE:  ?

(They look towards the owner of the voice, which happens to be the PARATROOPA they talked to before.  He flies over to them.)

PARATROOPA:  So it was you two dudes who wanted to know about the Crystal Stars?  Well, I’m sure you’ve heard the legend of Rogueport, haven’t you?

(X-NAUT shakes his head.)

PARATROOPA:  No?  You really aren’t from around here, are you?  Well, I’ve heard the legend, and if you want info about the Crystal Stars, then the legend’s the first thing you gotta know!

X-NAUT:  …

PARATROOPA:  All right then, I’ll fill you in…  It started, I guess, about a thousand years ago.  There was this totally perfect city sitting all by itself, when all of a sudden, BOOM!  A great cataclysm struck it and the city sunk below the sea.  After a wicked-long time, the town of Rogueport was built above it.  But the people got word that an awesome treasure lay hidden below in the ruins of that city.  But the treasure was sealed behind the Thousand-Year Door.  The door won’t open…unless someone collects the seven Crystal Stars!  Then the door will unlock!  So, how’s that for a legend, huh?

X-NAUT:  Hmm…  Interesting, but it sounds somehow…familiar.  So the seven Crystal Stars will unlock the Thousand-Year Door…

PARATROOPA:  That’s it, dude!  Oh yeah, I forgot, there’s also something called the Magical Map that shows where the Crystal Stars are!  But nobody’s ever seen it, man.

X-NAUT:  A magical map?

YUXETTE:  !  Yux!  Yux!

X-NAUT:  (turns to YUXETTE)  Hey, that’s right!  This mustachioed guy…you don’t suppose he has the Magical Map, do you?

PARATROOPA:  Huh?  Sorry, dude, I haven’t seen a mustached man.  I only got here recently…

X-NAUT:  Well, in any case, we’d better head to Shhwonk Fortress and get those stone keys!  Then we can catch up with that guy before he gets the Crystal Star!  Let’s go, Yuxette!

YUXETTE:  Yux!

(X-NAUT and YUXETTE run off through Petalburg, leaving the PARATROOPA behind looking after them.  But X-NAUT soon receives an e-mail message.  X-NAUT pulls out his Mailbox DS.  It turns out to be the RDM—Rogueport Direct Mail—service verification letter.  He was referred to the RDM service by X-NAUT WHITE.  Anyways, they reach the gate at the end of the village.  A KOOPA is on guard.)

KOOPA:  An old stronghold called Shhwonk Fortress lies ahead.  A stone creature lives there.  At least, it USED to live there.  Some mustache man went there earlier and defeated it.  But if you still want to go there, I’ll let you through.

(The KOOPA pushes open the gate and X-NAUT and YUXETTE follow the path to Shhwonk Fortress.  They battle GOOMBAS and their first KOOPA TROOPA enemies along the way.  Eventually, they reach an old building with two pedestals inside.  Two BALD CLEFTS stand on top of the pedestals.  When X-NAUT examines them, the BALD CLEFTS suddenly spring to life and attack.  X-NAUT and YUXETTE manage to defeat them.  After the BALD CLEFTS disappear, a Moon Stone falls from the ceiling and the gate at the end of the room opens.  X-NAUT obtains the Moon Stone and continues along the next path.  Eventually X-NAUT and YUXETTE enter another building of Shhwonk Fortress, also with two pedestals.  When X-NAUT checks them, the two BRISTLES on top of the pedestals come to life and attack.  X-NAUT has to use an item to fight them, since attacks are basically useless.  After defeating them, a Sun Stone appears, but the gate at the end of the room doesn’t open.  X-NAUT obtains the Sun Stone and heads back down the path to Petalburg.  He and YUXETTE run back through town and enter Petal Meadows again.  Suddenly, they hear a voice.)

VOICE:  Hey!  You two!

X-NAUT & YUXETTE:  ?

(A young KOOPA TROOPA walks across the bridge towards them.  The TROOPA is wearing, instead of a turtle shell, half of an eggshell on his head and the other half in place of pants.  X-NAUT and YUXETTE look at him.)

TROOPA:  Just who’re you guys?  And what are you doing here?  This is the future site of King Bowser’s picnic!

YUXETTE:  Yux?

X-NAUT:  Who are you?

TROOPA:  Listen, pal, my name’s Jr. Troopa!  And you’ve got some guts, strolling through here like you own the place!  I’m on guard, and you’re trespassing!  Suffer the consequences!

(Then X-NAUT and YUXETTE enter a battle with JR. TROOPA.  He has a max HP of 10, an attack of 1, and a defense of 0.  Fairly easy.)

JR. TROOPA:  So, what’s your name?  X-Naut?  That’s one kooky name, pal.  Anyways, you’re about to see what happens when you get in the way of the Koopa clan!

(X-NAUT and YUXETTE attack and defeat JR. TROOPA.)

JR. TROOPA:  OWWWWW!!!  You’re tougher than you look, buddy!  But if I ever see you again, you’ll be…sorry…  (lies on the ground)

YUXETTE:  Yux…

X-NAUT:  OOOOOOOOOO-K…  That was REALLY weird.  What do you think that guy’s problem was?

(X-NAUT and YUXETTE leave the unconscious JR. TROOPA and run through Petal Meadows, trying to avoid the GOOMBAS.  They eventually reach the stones in the proximity of Hooktail Castle again.  X-NAUT goes to the rocks and places the two stone keys into the holes.  The two stones suddenly roll back, revealing two switches, and a message appears on the center stone.  X-NAUT uses YUXETTE’S ability to charge a laser ring at one switch while he runs to the other.  YUXETTE fires at the switch and X-NAUT hits the other switch at the same time.  The center stone breaks away, revealing a pipe.  X-NAUT and YUXETTE take the pipe, which leads to Hooktail Castle.  They go through the gatehouse and arrive at the moat.)

*Part 3:  Hooktail Castle*******************************************************************************************************

X-NAUT:  Wow…  This place looks pretty frightening…but also pretty majestic, too.  Do you know what I mean?

YUXETTE:  Yux…

X-NAUT:  Look!  The drawbridge is broken…so we can’t get across.  Any ideas, Yuxette?

YUXETTE:  Yux…

X-NAUT & YUXETTE:  …

(They turn around and head back into the gatehouse.  But when they enter, a voice shouts.)

VOICE:  Hey, you two!

(It turns out to be the PARATROOPA again.)

X-NAUT:  Huh?  You again?

YUXETTE:  Yux?

PARATROOPA:  Uh, yeah, it’s me again.  I sorta followed you dudes back here, and I heard you needed to cross a broken bridge…  So I figured, hey!  Why don’t I give you a little lift across?

X-NAUT:  Really?  You’d do that for us?

PARATROOPA:  Sure, dudes!  But only on one condition…  You let me come along with you for the rest of the journey in that castle!  Let me explain.  The name’s Parakete.  I’m not from around here, either.  Now, I’ve got the looks, the moves, and the ‘tude, but I just don’t have the action, know what I mean?  What I mean is, Parakete here could use a little adventure in his lifetime!  Otherwise, life is just plumb boring.  So, since you dudes are interested in Crystal Stars and you’re heading towards Hooktail Castle…  I thought you guys must be adventurers!  Am I right, or am I right?

X-NAUT:  Umm…  I guess so.

PARAKETE:  Right on, man!  So, can I come along or what, dudes?

X-NAUT:  Uh, sure!  What’s the harm?  (turns to YUXETTE)  It’s OK with you it he comes along, isn’t it, Yuxette?

YUXETTE:  Yux!

X-NAUT:  (turns back to PARAKETE)  Yuxette said “yes.”

PARAKETE:  All right, man!  You won’t regret it, seriously!  You’ve got yourself a partner!

(PARAKETE joined X-NAUT’S party!  PARAKETE’S abilities:  A Primer.  PARAKETE can pick up X-NAUT and carry him in the air temporarily.  He can transport X-NAUT across short gaps that he normally can’t jump over.  In battle, PARAKETE can strike a single foe with his basic attack, the Shell Toss!  He can also strike multiple foes, even airborne ones, with his Shell Shot attack, but it costs 3 FP.  YUXETTE disappears and PARAKETE takes her place as the partner.)

PARAKETE:  All right, what’s your name, dude?  X-Naut?  Hmm…  How about I just call you X-dude from now on?  Sounds catchy to me.  Anyways, to get across that bridge, I have to carry you, of course.  Just get as close to that break as you can, and let me rip!

(X-NAUT and PARAKETE go back to the bridge and PARAKETE flies them across. Then they enter Hooktail Castle.  X-NAUT navigates through the castle, where he meets his first KOOPA PARATROOPA enemies.  Also in the castle are KOOPA TROOPAS, various GOOMBAS, and DULL BONES.  Soon, X-NAUT finds a pile of red-colored bones, and when he checks it, the bones start speaking.)

X-NAUT:  !

RED BONES:  Blaarf harf harf HARF!  You clearly don’t value your lives much if you’ve come to this castle to disturb us.  You will go no further, and from this moment on…  You’ll be nothing but bones!

(The RED BONES suddenly springs to life.  As it does, a whole army of DULL BONES falls from the ceiling. The mob starts pushing X-NAUT and PARAKETE back.)

PARAKETE:  X-dude!  What’s up with these maniacs?  OUCH!  Hey!  These guys are all over me, man!  What’re they doing?!

(X-NAUT throws potions at the mob.  As the potions explode, the DULL BONES go flying.  Eventually, they reach the RED BONES and battle it, along with four DULL BONES.  PARAKETE’S Shell Shot is very effective.  After they defeat the RED BONES, all the DULL BONES run away.  X-NAUT and PARAKETE continue.)

*Part 4:  The Curse***********************************************************************************************************

(X-NAUT walks through the castle until he enters a dungeon room.  There’s a switch that opens up a cell door temporarily.  X-NAUT uses YUXETTE’S ability to zap the switch from a distance and then run into the cell before the bars slam shut again.  X-NAUT finds a hole in the cell that leads to another room.  In the middle of the room is a TOAD person.  He sees them and speaks with an odd voice.)

TOAD:  What the heck?  Who are you guys?  I can’t remember the last time someone found me here!  No one’s ever dared to go this far inside the castle before.

X-NAUT:  (walks up to the TOAD)  …Uh, who are you?  And what are you doing here?

PARAKETE:  And dude, your voice sounds a little funny.

TOAD:  Hey!  People can’t help how they sound!  So butt out!  …Oops, sorry.  I shouldn’t blow up on new acquaintances.  See, I’m a prisoner here.  I’ve been locked inside this room for a LONG time!  Yeah…  In fact, it’s been so long, I don’t even remember what I was doing before I got imprisoned…  Hey, listen!  Could you tell me what year it is?

X-NAUT:  Um, it’s the year ♪○○¶.

TOAD:  Good gravy!  That’s the year when…

X-NAUT:  When what?

TOAD:  Uh, nothing!  Never mind!  So, um…  It seems like you’re trapped in this room too.  How about doing me a favor?  Could you maybe find this little trinket I lost?  It’s this medallion of mine.  I’ll get along in this prison a lot better if I get it back.  So, could you please find my medallion?  I’ll make it worth your while if you do!  You know, a little I-scratch-your-back-you-scratch-mine!  Except in reverse order.  Of course, you don’t have to if you don’t want to.  Like finding a medal is hard…

PARAKETE:  So, what oughta we do, X-dude?  Think we can trust our luck with this guy?

(X-NAUT puts his hand on his chin, then opens the door on the far side of the room.  Inside is a large, spacious room with a chest in the middle.  X-NAUT and PARAKETE go over to the chest, open it, and find something called the Medallion of Strength.  Suddenly, spikes shoot up from the floor, leaving only a narrow, mazelike path to walk safely on.)

PARAKETE:  Whoa!  X-dude!  You seein’ that, man?

(The ceiling is covered with spikes and is slowly descending upon the ground.)

PARAKETE:  Dude, that is NOT cool!  Let’s get outta here before we get pinned to the ground…literally!

(X-NAUT and PARAKETE have 50 seconds to navigate the maze and find their way back to the entrance.  They finally reach the door and exit just before the ceiling hits the ground.)

PARAKETE:  Dude, that was way gnarly!  This is EXACTLY what I signed up for!  Woohoo!  Now, let’s give that trinket back to that prisoner dude with the weird voice.

(They walk back to the TOAD and talk to him.)

TOAD:  What’s that?  You actually found my item?  Wow!  Thanks, guys!

(X-NAUT hands over the Medallion of Strength to the TOAD.)

TOAD:  YESSS!  You’re my hero!  I’m in your debt!  …Or not!  WHEEE HEE HEE HEE HEE!  FOOOOOOOLS!

(Suddenly, the TOAD transforms into purple wallpaper that covers everything except X-NAUT.  A large, spooky face appears in the background.)

SPIRIT:  How do you like being tricked in such a humiliating fashion?  You don’t, right?  You didn’t really think I was going to HELP you, did you?!?  I was just looking for the perfect dummy to CURSE!  And you fit the bill!  Oogly-googly-BOO!

(Lights flash and X-NAUT gets cursed.)

SPIRIT:  Wheee hee hee hee hee!  How do you like them apples?  Now you’re cursed!!!  Oh, how I delight in making people miserable!  It thrills me to no end!  Now, whenever you turn sideways, you’ll be like a piece of paper!  You’ll spend the rest of your life under this horrible curse!  Don’t you feel lucky?  I think I’ll tell you all the details about this curse so you can see what you’re plagued with!  Demonstrate!  Turn sideways and tremble at your new appearance!

(X-NAUT turns sideways and becomes just a thin piece of paper.  He turns back around and turns back into his normal body.)

SPIRIT:  Wheeee hee hee hee hee!  Just look at yourself!  How embarrassing for you!  Eat a sandwich, skinny!  Hee!  …Do you understand what this curse means for you?

X-NAUT:  Yes.

SPIRIT:  Then I’ll leave you to your fate!  Wheee hee hee hee hee!

(The SPIRIT’S face disappears and the purple wallpaper crumples up and shrinks to nothing.  X-NAUT is back with PARAKETE in the dungeon room.)

PARAKETE:  …Dude, what was up with THAT guy?

*Part 5:  Hooktail************************************************************************************************************

(X-NAUT and PARAKETE go back through the hole and into the cell.  They turn sideways into paper and slip through the bars of the cell.  Then they continue through the castle.  X-NAUT explores many rooms and collects castle keys.  He uses his new “curse”, along with YUXETTE’S abilities and PARAKETE’S abilities to make progress in the castle.  After the long haul, they finally reach the top tower where HOOKTAIL lies.  They enter through the doors.)

X-NAUT & PARAKETE:  !

(There, in the middle of the room, lies the dragon HOOKTAIL, flat on her back.)

PARAKETE:  WHOA!  Is that…Hooktail?  I thought it might be a little more…you know, lively.

X-NAUT:  Somebody must have already beaten it!  And I bet it was that mustached guy…

PARAKETE:  Well, that’s a relief, I guess.  So, what do we do now, X-dude?

X-NAUT:  We should at least try to search for the Crystal Star that the dragon was guarding.

(X-NAUT and PARAKETE—or YUXETTE, depending on which partner is out—look all around the room for the Crystal Star.  The partner who would be out depends on you, but I’ve just decided to put in the partner most suitable for the occasion.  That will be how it works.  Anyways, they don’t find the Crystal Star.)

X-NAUT:  So…did you find it anywhere?

PARAKETE:  Nope.  Nothing here, dude.  Sorry.

X-NAUT:  Darn…  I guess we’re too late.

VOICE:  Grrrrrrrroooooooooorrrrrrgh…

X-NAUT & PARAKETE:  !

(HOOKTAIL stirs, opens her eyes, and stands back up.  She spots X-NAUT and PARAKETE.)

HOOKTAIL:  Uuuurrgh…  It feels like I just coughed something up…  Huh?  Hey!  Where did that tubby red-and-blue clothed guy with the mustache go?  Did he just take what I think he took?  And just who are you two?   Uuuughhh…  That man and that Koopa of his did a number on me…  But all I need is a hearty meal and I’ll be back to normal!  And you two look like you’ll make a good energizing snack!

(And thus, the boss battle with HOOKTAIL begins.  She still has a little vitality in her, and it’s up to X-NAUT to put it out.  Fortunately, HOOKTAIL seems to have been severely weakened, and she only has a max HP of 15, an attack of 4, and a defense of 0.  X-NAUT would surely have leveled up by now, so he would have more HP, FP, or BP than before and therefore be more prepared for the battle.)

HOOKTAIL:  Ohh ho ho ho ho ho ho!  Snack time, little appetizers!  Once I devour you, I’ll have enough energy to continue feasting upon the villages of this world!

PARAKETE:  Whoa!  This doesn’t look good, X-dude.  I really don’t want to end up as an unstylish pile of bones.

X-NAUT:  Umm…  Don’t worry!  We can take this dragon!  If that mustache guy and his friends could topple this beast, then so can we!

(The battle rages.  HOOKTAIL attacks with her familiar attacks, and X-NAUT, YUXETTE, and PARAKETE attack her with all of their meager might.  If X-NAUT happens to be wearing the Attack FX R badge, then the sound of his attacks will be changed into a cricket’s chirping.)

HOOKTAIL:  Uhhh…  Blaarf!  That sound!  It…sounds like a cricket!  No!  Not again!  I…uurp…once got really bad food poisoning when I ate a cricket.  Now, just the sound of a cricket makes me…oooorrrrgh…no more talking about it!

(The battle goes on, but HOOKTAIL soon becomes dizzy because of the cricket sounds.  X-NAUT heals himself and his party with First-Aid.  Once HOOKTAIL’S HP drops to 0, she tries some of her tricks.)

HOOKTAIL:  W-wait!  Hold up a moment!  I give up!  Please!  I won’t be bad anymore.  In fact, I’m sorry!  For everything I’ve done!  Er…  Yeah…  To show for it, I’ll give you 1,000 coins!  So, what do you say?  Will you forgive me?

X-NAUT:  …No thanks.  I don’t need those coins.

HOOKTAIL:  What?  Are you serious?  Hmmm…  Then…how about a lovely, rare, extra-special badge instead, huh?  I’ll give it to you if you only forgive me!

X-NAUT:  You can keep your badge, Hooktail!

HOOKTAIL:  Grrrrr…  Why isn’t this working?  …Then, why don’t I make it up to you by letting you smell my feet?  C’mon, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!  Most people would pay big just to get a whiff!  So, care to smell the rich, yet delicate aroma of my world-renowned feet?

X-NAUT:  Ugh…  That’s disgusting!

HOOKTAIL:  Hrrrrrrmmm!  Not a very trusting fellow, are you?  It’s important to be able to trust someone, you know.  Well, I guess I’ll just have to…

(HOOKTAIL creeps back behind stage and suddenly lashes out at the audience watching the battle.  She gobbles up a large number of members, and the rest flee the theatre.  HOOKTAIL replenishes 10 of her HP, her attack goes up to 5, and her defense rises to 1.)

PARAKETE:  Man!  That’s just wrong, dude!

HOOKTAIL:  Ohh ho ho ho ho ho ho!  Now my strength has returned to me!  I’m re-energized at last!

PARAKETE:  C’mon, X-dude!  Let’s finish off this creep, and fast!

(X-NAUT and PARAKETE jump off the stage to confront HOOKTAIL.  The battle is a bit tougher, but X-NAUT attacks HOOKTAIL again, and a cricket chirps again.)

HOOKTAIL:  Ooooooooog…  Why do I always have to feel so nauseous whenever I hear a…uurrrrrp!...cricket?  Somebody make it stop!

(X-NAUT and his party continue hammering away at HOOKTAIL’S HP until it hits 0.  Then HOOKTAIL looks truly sick.)

HOOKTAIL:  Noooooooo…  How could I have been beaten…TWICE?!?  It just can’t be…  This…could…be…the…end…for…me…  Goodbye, meals…

(HOOKTAIL topples over and the battle is won.)

PARAKETE:  Wowzers…  That was one mean dragon…  But we won anyways, X-dude!  Hooray for us!

X-NAUT:  But we were too late to get the Crystal Star…

(Suddenly, lights glow around X-NAUT again.)

PARAKETE:  Hey, X-dude?  You’re…glowing, man.  You feeling all right?

(The lights disappear, and a circle of sparkles flies up X-NAUT’S body, just like in the X-Naut Fortress. Another piece of X-NAUT’S memory is revived, and X-NAUT remembers the special move Seismic Wave!)

END OF CHAPTER